Is it time to let go of the guilt and shame, or the anger and sadness? The way we show up for others begins with how we show up for ourselves. Curious how Parent Coaching helps? Let’s have a conversation. 🌱
Is it that your kids are giving you a hard time, or are they HAVING a hard time? So often difficult behaviors are used as a way of seeking help. Our kids may not know how to do it any other way. What do you think? 🌱
We are NOT LAZY! We struggle with executive functioning. Some tasks this affects are organization, breaking big tasks into manageable pieces, and staying focused when we feel bored or overwhelmed.
The bigger, more worrisome piece of this is our ability to keep a positive narrative going in our minds. Most days we attempt to operate like our neurotypical peers, because let’s face it, we’re often expected to, and then we question whether our lackluster performance is because of our ADHD symptoms or personality flaws due to laziness, lack of effort, or willpower. How many times have you or your child heard, “If you would just try harder you could get this done.”
To the outsider, it often does look like we’re not trying, yet internally our minds are racing and often berating us for failing once again.
Whether it’s you, your child, or someone you care about struggling, remember it’s not on purpose. Work on accepting these challenging parts of yourself and then creating systems that support the areas holding you back.
This is my collection of hearts. It’s something small, yet it helps me feel grounded each day when I look at them. This Valentine’s Day your kids may not be showing much love or gratitude because of their age and their own struggles. Sigh…if only! Here’s what I think, your kids do need and appreciate you. They love you regardless of their behavior, and IT’S NOT PERSONAL. Yes, I KNOW it feels that way though. ❤️
I invite you to give YOURSELF some love each day, before you share it with others. As you already know we can’t fill another’s cup, if ours is empty. Just imagine what your kids will learn watching you role model what self-love looks like.❤️
When you’re ready for some support on how to do this, send me a message and I’ll set up a free consultation for you.
This is how I feel everyday. I wake up and ask myself, what is one step I can take that inches my way through my fears and closer to my authentic, passionate, and true desires. It’s not easy, I won’t say I’m “cured” just because I’m a coach. Nope, I’m only a step ahead of the clients I’m blessed to witness.
I’ve had many setbacks in my life that for years stopped me dead in my tracks. The root of these may have been from ADHD, and yet what kept me paralyzed was insecurity, doubt, fear, not my condition. Mindset truly is a game changer.
I intentionally chose to focus on remembering I am thriving, influencing, shifting, stretching, and moving in the direction I want to go, even if there are days it is painstakingly slow.
My mindset is kindness and acceptance of my pace as I inch toward what I want. Yes, even on the days I accomplish only one thing on my list.
What do you want? What do you need? I’d love to help you answer those questions. 🌱
Quote from the book “The Yellow Envelope,” by Kim Dinan
Guilt, shame, and feelings of failure, these happen often for us ADHDers. I haven’t posted for months, no particular reason just other things were prioritized instead.
Yet, as each day passed I became harder and harder on myself, and the negative narratives were playing on repeat in my head! I finally came to my senses and reminded myself what I tell discuss with my clients.
You are doing the best you can. Follow through and motivation for tasks that are boring or difficult, are hard for your brain. Have grace with yourself and focus on what you have accomplished. That is what is important. After all, mindset is everything!
So for all of you who can relate, or this sounds like your child, please be gentle and forgiving. We are all on a path toward success, it just looks different for each of us.
I know I can’t completely control the environment for my family, and have made it as healthy as possible. I also can’t force my kids to connect with MW, that’s my job. I try not to let my reactivity, slow processing, or sensitivity get in the way, and yet there can still be disconnection.
To move forward , I realized I needed to help myself first. I’m reflecting on my past pain, challenging the stories I’m telling myself (Umm, I am needed!!), and getting outside support from someone who is compassionate, and good at asking tough questions.
The result is, I’m searching for new beliefs about myself, considering alternative stories about what might be happening in my life, and choosing different actions to experiment with.
When you’re ready for the support you deserve, I’ll be here. You don’t have to resign yourself to what you are living with now. Your can show up as a parent, partner, friend , and employee in a way that is authentic , calm, and connected. All it takes is a commitment to yourself, and some support. 🌱 #parenting #adhdparenting #moms #dads #adhd #empoweredwomen #empowereddads #empoweredmoms #helpforparents #iseeyou ... See MoreSee Less
We are not irresponsible people. We, and your kids, are often trying the best we can. After many failed attempts, e often get irritated or give up, not because we’re lazy or don’t care. It’s exhausting. It’s overwhelming.
None of this is meant as an excuse, I say it to take the personalization of your actions, and those of your kids, out of it. I invite you to practice kindness and acceptance of yourself. Notice that voice inside your head, who is so critical, and feels shame. That voice NEEDS your compassion. Giving that to yourself will aid you in giving it to others. 🌱 #adhd #adhdparenting #adhdparents #adhdparent #anxiety #parentingtips #parenting #moms #dads #adhdmoms #adhddads #moodykids #parentingadhd #youdontgetit #misunderstoodkids #consciousparenting #emotionaloutbursts #tantrums #angrykids #anxiouskids #adhdkids #shame #mindsetmatters #painfulchildhood #childhoodtrauma #empathicparenting #sleepstruggles #curiosityinparenting ... See MoreSee Less
Do you wake up each day thinking, today will be better. I’m not going to lose my temper. I’m not going to take every comment, look or action as an attack against me. I will remember to pick the kids up on time. I am going to complete the items on my list. I will clean the house, get dinner ready, and connect with my kids.
Then the day is over and you did yell, take things personally, pick up the kids late, accomplish nothing on your list, let alone dinner, and everyone went to bed upset and disconnected.
These types of days used to happen to me a lot, and what would happen next was the awful shame that would surface. The thing about shame, that we don’t often think about, is its connectedness to the beliefs we have about ourselves. Subconsciously if we believe we are a failure, incompetent , or unworthy we will always struggle. The awesome thing is we can shift our beliefs with education, practice, and support. Awareness of what we think and how it affects our actions is the first step. If you need support, let’s chat. 🌱 #adhd #adhdparenting #adhdparents #adhdparent #anxiety #parentingtips #parenting #moms #dads #adhdmoms #adhddads #moodykids #parentingadhd #youdontgetit #misunderstoodkids #consciousparenting #emotionaloutbursts #tantrums #angrykids #anxiouskids #adhdkids #shame #mindsetmatters #painfulchildhood #childhoodtrauma #empathicparenting #sleepstruggles #curiosityinparenting ... See MoreSee Less